Being a “real man” means different things to different people. But one thing is certain…a real man has his life together. Or is working on it with everything he has. A real man has his job, his money, his health, his family, and his relationships all a part of his plan. And he’s taking action to create the life he wants. It’s not easy. But it’s smoking hot to women. Chicks have to deal with so many “man-boys,” she doesn’t believe real men exist. And if she found one, she’d do about anything to get her hands on him and keep him.

So, if you’re ready to step up and be the man, here are some tips.

1. Give: A real man gives his best without waiting to receive. At work you give your best ideas. You don’t hold back waiting for a better time or a better job. You don’t tally things up and make sure everything is even. You don’t wait until tomorrow to start working on what’s important to you. You give because it’s fun. It’s how you want to live.

2. Have a 10 year plan: A real man has a vision for his life 10 years down the road. And 5 years. And next year. Each passing day is another opportunity to work towards it…and even though you know it will likely change, your plan gives you direction and vision. It gives you the focus other men lack.

3. Leads: A real man doesn’t need to show others he’s in charge, he just is. You don’t need to talk the most, have the best ideas, or make all the decisions. You don’t need to list off every impressive accomplishment. Or mention every story that relates to the conversation at hand. Instead, you lead others by showing them the way. You listen a lot. You direct the flow of conversation. And your goal isn’t making yourself feel good, it’s making others feel good when they’re around you…which, in turn, makes you feel good.

4. Never say sorry: A real man knows “sorry” doesn’t make mistakes better.  You know you will make mistakes. But how you handle them makes all the difference. Beating yourself up won’t help. Promising to do better next time is empty. Instead, take a minute and look at your mistake. Honestly assess what you can do better.  And most importantly, the next time a similar situation presents itself, do something different. In cases where you must say the words “I’m sorry” for the sake of others, do so, but know inside that it is meaningless unless you change your action.

5. What he says: When a real man gives his word, he sticks to it. You think carefully before you agree to something. You know time is limited. You can only give your time and effort to a few things, so you choose wisely. But if you say you will be there at 5pm, then you’re there at 5pm. If you’re in charge of picking up the food and getting it to the party, it’s there on time or early.  Scrubs make excuses.  Men make it work.

6. Makes decisions: A real man doesn’t avoid decisions. When decisions come up, you make them. You put your neck on the line. You don’t defer to others, unless it helps them grow. You consider what’s best for everyone, everywhere (if you can). And you never hang up your leadership. You wear it naturally, whether you’re at work leading your team or just hanging out with friends.

7. Owns his insecurities: A real man doesn’t hide his flaws. You know that all men are imperfect. You also know that your weaknesses make others feel connected to you. You know they make you who you are. So you share them with humor and humility. You don’t comb over your bald spot, you shave your head. You don’t embellish your travel story, you underemphasize it. You don’t hide your mistakes, you share what you’ve learned.